Teri's Blog

January 14, 2010
Notes from the 1.14.10 Thursday Night – Worship Team Meeting

While Erin was having an MRI, she felt the Lord take her several places with Him and say to her that it was time to face her fears. Being a little claustrophobic, the MRI experience felt like she was in a nightmare but as she released her spirit to be with Jesus, (she calls these experiences “spirit walks”), she felt Him take her to a cave where there wasn’t much room to move. Then he took her into the ocean where all kinds of dangerous sea creatures were swimming. Both were places that she experiences fear and does her best to avoid. She realized that the Lord was showing her He was going to be with her in the places she fears most and that fears are being faced and being found lacking in authority to do what the heart had believed. They were only thoughts – not the power to destroy. Erin said the truth was that Jesus was with her in each place. And rather than experiencing the fear, she experienced His love in each of these places.

Dennis had a dream that his dog was missing. While he and Canaan were out looking for it, they noticed two rough looking guys carrying a box. He knew immediately that they had his dog and they didn’t seem to care that Dennis saw them. He watched as Canaan walked right up to them and kicked the box open. The dog jumped out and ran home. Dennis told Canaan that they needed to close the doors so the dog wouldn’t get out again.

I felt this dream was very similar to the vision I had a couple of weeks ago. Candace, Erin, Ruth, and I all realized one morning about a week into the New Year that we had been having tormenting dreams since the New Year began. One similar thread I heard was that the dreams made us feel as if there was no reason to keep holding out hope for things the Lord had put in our hearts because it was over. We might as well give up because loss was inevitable. Even those things that had seemed to be coming true in some way couldn’t be depended on and were going to be lost.

I felt we were to stand at the four corners –North, South, East, and West-- in my kitchen and I heard Psalms 84:10 (Amp.)

For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand [anywhere else]; I would rather be a doorkeeper and stand at the threshold in the house of my God than to dwell [at ease] in the tents of wickedness.

Rather than speaking of a position in the natural temple, I felt the Lord was showing me that David was speaking about a spiritual position as a watchman over the gates in the spirit realm. In essence, I felt David was saying that he would rather pay the cost with commitment and relationship with God to open and close gates in the spirit realm than to be in a state of apathy where his home was simply in this dark realm on earth. (I will be sharing more on this next Sunday).

As we were praying, I saw what looked like a little “Yoda” type creature in a black robe with the hood pulled up over his head come through my back door. He looked at me with what seemed like shame but didn’t stop. It was as if he knew I could see him but that knowledge alone was not enough to do anything to stop him from what he’d come to do and yet I had the feeling that he was watching to see if I would stop him. He walked through the kitchen and down my hall. When he came back through the hallway into the kitchen, he was holding a baby wrapped in a blanket. He kept glancing at me but moving toward the back door to leave at the same time. Just as he was about to walk out the door, I realized that the baby he was taking was mine! I said, “No!” And he immediately stopped and disappeared.

I sensed the Lord was saying that the dream or hope or vision that we’ve been holding to in our deepest hearts through hell and high water is not just a seed as we’ve supposed. It’s already been born in our hearts. There are things that have already been birthed. The enemy is tempting us to fear that as this last year ended, so did hope for ever seeing this thing become a reality.

The thief is a lying spirit and has come to rob us of whatever WE WILL ALLOW HIM TO TAKE. He knows we see him but if we do not stop him, he will come into our homes and steal these things. If we will “kick open the box”, as Dennis saw Canaan doing in his dream, what is ours will “return home” – but we must fix the fence - close the gate.

I’d rather be a gatekeeper, David said… As we stood in my kitchen and prayed, there was repentance for doubting the Lord’s heart and character. The truth was that He had shown us over and over again that He is with us and that His love is immeasurable for us. That’s what He’s like. And now, in 2010, it is time to recognize the things that have been born and to shut the gate to a lying spirit. If we will persevere through this transition, we will begin to experience an end of fear and a revealing of Jesus inside of us, the Hope of Glory. The government of His Kingdom begins here within us and He’s called us to walk in His Kingdom – His authority – in this earth.

Thursday night, Micah was sharing that on Monday, he had been walking through the woods cruising timber and began to feel as if he couldn’t get his breath. His chest felt as if it crushing in on him. He tried to figure out what was wrong – Was he upset about something? Worried? He felt loss and hopelessness, as if all his dreams were going to somehow be taken from him. He wasn’t sure if he was sick or what was going on. After hours of walking, he finally emerged from the forest and slumped to his knees without the strength to even pick himself up again. He doesn’t know how long he was there but in an instant, he knew that he was experiencing a spirit of depression in all its fury and just as quickly as the realization came, the depression lifted. It was as if it simply lifted off and his body and floated away. He felt himself completely normal again and in his right mind. Then he heard the Lord say – Fear is a lying spirit. It’s not even real. It’s an unreasonable oppression that doesn’t have to have an explanation. And it’s just this simple to recognize it and remove it. (The Spirit the Lord has given us is not a spirit of fear but power, love AND a sound mind. See 2 Timothy 1:7).

He saw a connection between this and what he’d been experiencing out running lately. Micah noticed that the pain of discomfort or feeling of being out of breath is often perceived by the mind as reason to stop. But the truth was– it’s how we perceive the pain in our experiences that sometimes causes us to falsely conclude that we are powerless to keep going. In truth, as we keep going, we become strong enough to move beyond these hardships and gain strength to keep going. Micah saw that the things he had experienced that day in the forest and even the struggle to keep running when he felt his body struggling was a wrong perception of the truth in relation to who God is and of the ability of God inside of him.

I also shared that in the past week, I have had the worst “temptation” to have panic attacks that I’ve ever had while trying to teach school. (Teaching Mythology to 10^th graders and feeling a panic attack coming on are not my idea of a good time). In the past when I’ve felt a panic attack trying to get a hold of my physical body, I have been able to distract my mind long enough to divert it. But this time, the physical and mental manifestations went to the edge and jumped off. I felt as if it were too late to retrieve control in my spirit. And yet, I kept teaching even through words I tried to say that sounded garbled.

I refused to let go of that one thread of control I knew was still there. And then the panic lifted. It was over. I heard – “The fear is nothing to fear. When Erin said – this is a time when fears will be faced and revealed to be lies without power, I wanted to say – I’d rather not, thank you just the same. But I wanted freedom even more.

I felt like I heard the Spirit say, “When you perceive panic attacks as powerful, you are empowering them.” But the truth is, we are not waiting to overcome – This isn’t a “seed” of hope we have for something to happen. It’s already happened. The enemy has already been overcome. He can only steal what we ALLOW him to come into our house and walk out with again.

Around Christmas, things began to disappear. Little things and big things. It was crazy. On Christmas day, the Lord reminded me of something Mike Collins had said a couple of nights earlier while we were eating a meal together (at Elements, of course). He was telling us of a situation where he knew the enemy had stolen something from him ---It wasn’t something that had worn out; it was clearly an unexplained and unnatural loss to a piece of equipment and he was eager to see how the enemy was going to have to return what he’d stolen 7-fold. He had reminded the enemy that everything he had belonged to the Lord and he knew he had no right to steal from him. Mike and Donna had simply called his hand.

In the past when I’ve heard stuff like this in church settings, I’ve been disgusted because of the careless way this truth has been abused. But I knew in my spirit I knew that the abuse of this truth didn’t do away with the truth itself. Mike and Donna are two of my favorite people --- I know them by the Spirit. Regardless of what anyone says or the disgust that I feel from the way this truth has been abused, they have continued to walk in authority in this truth for years. Encouraged by their example, we began to pray to the Lord and simply – one time – told the enemy to stop – and to let these things go. Immediately, things began to show back up in odd, unexplainable places.

One more crazy story from this past week: The C.D. player in my car went ballistic about a week ago. When I tried to switch C.D.’s, it got stuck. For days, I could hear it trying to eject a C.D. I tried everything. It didn’t seem to matter if the car was on or off, it continued to try to eject the C.D. over and over. This went on for 5 or 6 days before my car battery died. I had just returned home from a bike ride in which I had the most encounters with dogs that I’ve ever had on one ride. I realized that even though I’d faced 7 dogs, I had not fallen or been knocked over – but even more astounding, I had not once felt that weakening drain of adrenaline that helps a person run like lightning (or pedal, in my case), but is immediately followed a drain that wipes out the body about 10 seconds after the danger has passed.

But there I was in my car -in frustration. Not only was my battery dead, I desperately needed one of the C.D.’s (which was one in the C.D. player) to teach my Bodyflow class at the gym. I thought, “ ok – this is enough.” I wasn’t angry. I’d just had enough. I felt like the Lord told me to hit it. I thought, “Ok, but if I break something, you’re gonna have to help me explain this to Clint!” – and I hit it. The grinding sound changed to a litter faster clicking noise but still no C.D. I didn’t psyche myself up or scream at a devil – I just felt like I was to say—again -- “Let it go in Jesus name.” Sounds crazy but I had peace about it.

I heard to hit it again. And again. I hit it about 5 times when the C.D. suddenly ejected and my car immediately cranked back up. That was two days ago and my car has cranked ever since.

I felt like the Lord said to me that sometimes when I pray and it seems nothing is happening, not listen for any instructions. I know how this sounds but I was reminded of the story where Elisha told King Joash to strike the ground with his arrows in 2 Kings 13. The King only struck the ground 3 times when he should have struck it 5 or 6 times. Surely, hitting the front of the C.D. player didn’t fix it. It still doesn’t work. But I have the C.D. that I needed and it wasn’t even in the # that I thought it was in – which I’d been desperately trying to make it eject from.

I could have stopped “striking” my C.D. player after the first 2 or 3 times – but I heard, “Keep hitting it until it lets the C.D. come out.” I’m not advocating we start hitting things when they mess up. Wow – How’s that for a weird twist on how to deal with the devil? This isn’t a formula but sometimes we need to make a phone call – or walk through the house looking for something as we’re listening for direction– or begin to move our arms and feet in worship in an act of praise – This is a prophetic act. The Lord can speak to our spirits and give us direction. We can’t wait to get this perfect before we start practicing listening. Weapons are sharpened by using them. We grow as we practice.

Some have mistaken inactively for faith while others have based their faith on what they were able to do in order to get God’s approval. The times require that we practice hearing and knowing God’s voice – What He’s saying, not just what He’s said.

As gatekeepers and watchmen, we live in a realm that connects the spiritual and the physical realm. As worshippers, we can open the gates of Heaven, David wrote - with thanksgiving – which is merely having a different perspective, giving a truthful report about the ability of the Lord rather than about the ability of the enemy. Fears will be faced and found lacking.

July 26, 2009
Please note: All scripture taken from the NIV

The Lord has been speaking to me from Isaiah 35 and Hebrews 12 for months now. I was reminded this morning of something He’s been speaking to me lately when I run. Nearly every time I run, something will begin to hurt: my knees, my shins, my feet. It isn’t bad – but it’s just enough to make me afraid that I'm injuring something again just like I have in the past. When the ache begins, I tell myself that if it doesn't lessen within one to two minutes time, I will stop running and go home and ice it. As I continue to run, I speak to whatever is hurting and say, “I strengthen you, feeble knees, legs, feet…” ---whatever--- “You are strong, legs. Be strong. I strengthen you.”

This may sound crazy but I will keep chanting in my mind to my “strong legs” over and over while I run. (For all the religious antennas that just fried over my use of the word chant, it’s another word for psalm. Look it up in the dictionary).” Since I've been doing this for the past couple of months, I haven't had to stop training because of injury. Prior to this, I’ve had a couple of weeks out with shin splints and then three weeks out with back trouble.

For whatever reason, the Lord uses physical things to speak prophetically to me. This morning as I was reading from Isaiah and Hebrews again, I realized that when something has been injured, we will either allow it to remain weak and deteriorate into a victim mentality, or we will choose to discipline ourselves and make our weak places strong. Most Christians would consider themselves disciples. But somehow we’ve divorced the term “disciple” from the word “discipline.” One of the most important revelations I had when I started training was that not all pain signified an injury. Sometimes pain is an indication that we are finally working our weak muscles and building strength. It’s going to hurt to strengthen a weak muscle and that’s all there is to it.

Of course, when we’ve been injured in the past, we don’t want to make things worse. There are right ways and wrong ways to strengthen something that has been injured in the past. Spiritually speaking, pulling away and becoming isolated, (which no one does to us but ourselves), will only allow us to remain weak. Every time I’ve been to a physical therapist with bulging discs in my lower back, I’ve been given exercises to do. When I think I can’t move the most, I’m given ways in which to move even more to bring flexibility to my body and to strengthen the weak muscles around the discs. To strengthen something that has become weak, we have to endure the pain of healing. Through perseverance, we are enabled to keep going and to finish well.

When we are walking through a desert place, the discipline of worship sometimes feels a lot like pain. It’s like someone telling us to “move more” when we’re thinking we definitely need to “move less.” So I am encouraging myself like David, (read 1 Samuel 30:6), strengthening myself in the Lord as I prepare for corporate worship today: “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come…”

I’m getting my guitar and singing these scriptures out loud---again---as I “Make level paths for (my) feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

Isaiah 35:1 The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God. 3 Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; 4 say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." 5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. 6 Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. 7 The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs. In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus will grow. 8 And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it. 9 No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, 10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed 14Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 16See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. 17Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.18You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; 19to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, 20because they could not bear what was commanded: "If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned." 21The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, "I am trembling with fear." 22But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, 23to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, 24to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. 25See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? 26At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." 27The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. 28Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29for our "God is a consuming fire."

Teri R. Williams, 3/26/2009